Therapy
by withatouchofyourwords
Summary: Gale receives therapy... and finally makes the courage to get back in touch with his old hunting partner. Now with upped rating and new genre.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: I dunno why I do all this Gale stuff. Mainly because I really feel his character was neglected to make room for Peeniss (ha ha ha this is the best ship name _ever_ not even gonna lie). But I think Gale did have his own suffering and Katniss pushed it aside. I'm not saying either of them were in the right. They were both in the wrong, which made it all the more real. In other news, I don't own the Hunger Games, just a handful of ideas I've had. I also don't own All Time Low, which is more depressing.**

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><p><em>My ship went down in a sea of sound<em>  
><em>When I woke up alone, I had everything<em>

It wasn't to say that Gale Hawthorne thought he was right over everything. He knew there were times he was in the wrong. He also knew that he would never truly be whole again, but he could fake it for as long as possible. He woke up alone every day after a night of near sleepless rest. The handful of moments he _could_ sleep were always tormented with Katniss in the Games, Primrose dying, the bombs blowing up, and everything he wished he could change. It was always bittersweet.

_A hand full of moments I wished I could change_  
><em>and a tounge like a nightmare that cut like a blade in a city of fools<br>I was careful and cool, but they tore me apart like a hurricane  
>A hand full of moments I wished I could change<em>  
><em>but I was carried away<em>

Gale had learned the territory of being a war hero. Sure, girls fell all over themselves to get at him, but he couldn't bear to let them touch him. He was too broken for that, and he refused to sink to filling the void with meaningless sex. There was only one girl he wanted... and she was gone. He couldn't blame her, either. He couldn't blame Bread Boy either. He knew he had done nothing to earn her love. What had he done for her? Back when she was his Catnip, he had hunted for her family. During the Games, he kept them fed. He got them out of the explosion. He saved Peeta... but he couldn't save Cinna or Prim, two people his Catnip had loved. And in the end, he was no better than the Capitol he had hated so, and as a direct result, he hated himself.

_Give me therapy_  
><em>I'm a walking travesty<em>  
><em>But I'm smiling on everything<em>  
><em>Therapy you were never a friend to me<em>  
><em>and you can keep all your misery<em>

Court mandated therapy. _Great_, he thought, _because what says welcome home soldier better than giving him fucking therapy__?_ He knew why he was ordered to get therapy. Katniss had stomped all over his heart with every reason to. He knew that the couple of self inflicted wounds couldn't have helped either. But despite knowing he shouldn't, despite knowing that all it would do was cause pain... he did it because he wanted to be sure he hadn't gone numb. He wanted to be sure he could still feel. Results came back positive, though it's what landed him trying to discuss with a therapist why he didn't need therapy. "And you believe that because?"

All he wanted to do was punch the damn therapist's face in. Where did he get off, telling him what he needed and didn't need? He knew that this entire thing was pointless, and all it did was make him feel more trapped, ensnared in one of his own snares. He snapped, "Because I know what's best for me."

The therapist snorted. "So what's best for you is to cling to a girl who you know isn't in love with you and never will be? What's best for you is to continue to blame yourself for a bomb that blew up? To blame yourself for the deaths of people you couldn't save? News flash: you couldn't of saved them. If the bomb hadn't gone off, either Coin or Snow would have seen to it that Primrose Everdeen was no more_. _You haven't spoken to Katniss Everdeen in five years because you continue to hold yourself responsible!"

Gale bit his lip. "I hold myself responsible because I built the damn bomb."

The therapist sighed. "You don't blame the maker of the bow or arrow for the death of someone. You don't blame the maker of the gun for killing someone. So why should you hold yourself at fault for building something that you were sure was going to save lives?"

_My lungs gave out as I faced the crowd_  
><em>I think that keeping this up can be dangerous<em>  
><em>I'm flesh and bone, I'm a rolling stone<em>  
><em>And the experts say I'm delirious<em>

Gale hadn't thought about what he was thing when he built the bomb very hard. The therapist was right - he thought he was helping others when he built the bomb. He never wanted Prim to die. He never wanted to cut off ties with Katniss because of it, but he figured she hated him... and he wouldn't of blamed her. "I was no better than the Capitol."

"You're better than the Capitol. You feel remorse for your actions."

_Give me therapy_  
><em>I'm a walking travesty<em>  
><em>But I'm smiling on everything<em>  
><em>Therapy you were never a friend to me<em>  
><em>and you can take back your misery<em>

Remorse. Guilt. Anger at himself. The realization that someone thought him better than the Capitol because he felt such things. That being able to feel remorse for his actions was what made him a better person, a better person than anyone in the Capitol. He was upset that his actions had brought upon death. He hadn't let himself love in five years because he hadn't felt worthy. He had thought that he was unworthy of love because he was unworthy of Katniss.

"You'e worthy of having a nice life, Gale."

_Arrogent boy, love yourself so no one has to_  
><em>They're better off without you<em>  
><em>(They're better off without you)<em>  
><em>Arrogent boy, Cause a scene like your supposed to<em>  
><em>They'll fall asleep without you<em>  
><em>You're lucky if your memory remains<em>

He shook his head. Katniss hadn't bothered to call or write. What good was it if his old hunting partner would never speak to him again? Peeta and her didn't need him in their life, and he'd be damned if they even remembered who he was. He wouldn't bother to remember himself if he were in their shoes. They had deserved better than what he had given. "You need to call her, Gale. Make the first move to healing."

_Give me therapy_  
><em>I'm a walking travesty<em>  
><em>But I'm smiling at everything<em>  
><em>Therapy you were never a friend to me<em>  
><em>You can take back your misery<em>  
><em>Therapy<em>  
><em>I'm a walking travesty<em>  
><em>But I'm smiling at everything<em>  
><em>Therapy you were never a friend to me<em>  
><em>and you can choke on your misery<em>

On the other end of the phone was Katniss Everdeen. "Katniss? It's me, Gale. Gale Hawthorne."

"Gale?" She paused. "I'm so glad you called."


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: I decided to try continuing "Therapy". It was intended to be a one-shot, but I guess even my brain knew I couldn't leave it just like that. Song is "Safe and Sound" by Taylor Swift. Honestly not sure why I picked it. But it seemed to fit for some reason. I don't own the Hunger Games.**

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><p><em>I remember tears streaming down your face<em>  
><em>When I said, I'll never let you go<em>  
><em>When all those shadows almost killed your light<em>  
><em>I remember you said, Don't leave me here alone<em>  
><em>But all that's dead and gone and passed tonight<em>

Gale smiled as he heard Katniss on the other side of the line, a comfort that he hadn't had in a long while. She sounded pleased to hear from him, a shock to him. He hadn't expected her to be happy when he called her. He had expected her to be angry, to yell at him at him for calling her. "So, Catnip. How are you? How's life? Do you have any kids or what?"

Katniss laughed, and Gale felt his heart flutter. _Stop that_, he thought, _she's married_. He bit his lip as she spoke, wishing he could look at her smile, the sparkle in her eyes. "No, no kids... not yet... Peeta really wants kids, but I'm not sure. It's not the same without you, Gale. It's nice... but it feels like a big part of me is missing. Like you took half of me with you when you moved to District 2."

Gale sighed. He didn't expect her to say that, and it felt like a punch in the gut. A reminder that he had left her behind without bothering to say goodbye. At the time, it had felt right for him to just leave her behind, leave everything behind. He thought she'd be grateful, but it was clear from the wistful air in her voice that he wished he had stayed to talk things over with her. Maybe he could've had his chance if he had stayed behind with her. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have left... but I figured you wouldn't want to be around me. I haven't been able to talk with my family either. They reminded me too much of you... and that I lost you."

Katniss was silent for a while. They rarely had talked the first time around, but this time the silences seemed more significant, more of which he should pay attention to. He tried, but somehow, they were too different now. It was like he was speaking to her for the first time. "You should have spoken with your family more. They miss you too. You were their provider... and you provided for my family too when I wasn't able to. I never thanked you for that."

Gale rolled his eyes. She didn't have to thank him for what he had done for her. He would do it all over again, do everything all over again to make sure she and her family made it out of that District. Maybe he would've made sure Prim was no where near those bombs when they blew in his do over, but other than that... nothing would be different. Only Prim would change... and possibly even Finnick. Finnick was a good man, he knew, and he wish he had gotten to know him. He felt he could've gotten along with Finnick. "There's really no need to thank me for that. I would've done it again... no matter what. I made you a promise and I kept it."

Gale was pleased when Katniss didn't bring up what happened to Prim after all his efforts to keep her safe and sound. He didn't need to remember that, not right now anyway.

_Just close your eyes_  
><em>The sun is going down<em>  
><em>You'll be alright<em>  
><em>No one can hurt you now<em>  
><em>Come morning light<em>  
><em>You and I'll be safe and sound<em>

It was insane to think that these two former best friends were damn near strangers. He wasn't willing to accept that anymore. He was once desperately in love with her, desperate to do anything that would make her smile. Now he didn't know just how to make her smile... or if she was smiling at all. "I just wish I had kept that in mind before I had to go and break your heart."

Gale let out a stiff laugh, trying to get back into the friendship with her. "Me too. Would've save me a damn near load of trouble. Of course, even knowing you'd break my heart, I'd still do everything to keep your family safe, and that included going into that war. Because face it, Catnip, if we hadn't won that war... and even if... she'd survive... Snow would've personally seen to it that... she... got into the arena."

Katniss bit her lip. It was clear why Gale was dancing around Prim's name. Even saying her name hurt him, because he could never know what had happened there. What hurt the most was that Gale had done so much for her to make sure that she and her mother could be safe... so she could have a safe life with Peeta. He walked out to make sure she never doubted herself, and she wished she had seen that. "I just... I wish you had gotten in touch sooner."

_Don't you dare look outside your window, darling_

Gale sighed, running a hand through his hair. His hair had been cut recently. His job didn't allow him to have his usual shaggy hair cut, and it kind of pissed him off. He'd already changed so much and now here he was, changing some more. It was good to have this change, one that would allow him to talk to Katniss again. "I didn't let you get in touch with me for a reason, Catnip."

Katniss sighed as well. Gale was terribly stubborn when it came to protecting other people, and she should have known that. That he would go through any lengths to preserve the relationship from Peeta and Katniss, even though it would hurt him so. She missed that, his fierce dedication to her. It was comforting. "I know. I just... I've missed you... and the protection you gave me. I miss seeing the fire in your eyes, the way you could delicately set snares... the way you made sure nothing ever happened to your family... I guess I shouldn't have been surprised you were a fierce soldier as well."

Gale bit his lip. Fierce soldier... he always thought he was a monster in her eyes, but now he knew. She finally understood. Understood why he had done what he had done. All to protect their families. "I was just trying to protect you. I never wanted you to get hurt, but somehow, through my actions, you got hurt anyway. I wish I could bring back them all. Finnick and Prim. Boggs. I just... I wish those deaths hadn't happened. The worst part of moving on is the memories. It's so bad, the courts mandated I get fucking therapy for it."

Katniss paused. "Therapy?"

_Everything's on fire  
>The war outside our door keeps raging on<br>Hold onto to this lullaby  
>Even when the music's gone<br>Gone_

Gale ran his fingers through his hair, cursing. He hadn't meant to mention the therapy, or that he was even in therapy at all. It had somehow happened, somehow came up because he trusted her. She was still his best friend, even though she was a stranger. "Yeah. I was kind of... numb... for the last few years. It was sort of... just me having to move on. I didn't want to go. I was stubborn about it. Refusing to tell the guy anything. Says I'm his worst patient."

Katniss laughed, and Gale felt his heart race again. _Stop that_, he thought, _she's married_. "I could imagine. You're not very good with words, are you?"

Gale bit his lip, wanting to tell Katniss the truth, that he was still in love with her. However, he couldn't. He couldn't do that to her, even after all she'd done to him. Left him broken, bleeding, and needing help to be pieced back together. He shook his head. "No, I'm not very good with words. Never was. We did our best connecting out in the woods, not through talking."

Katniss snorted, and Gale realized the implications of his words too late. "I don't know what you've been dreaming about, but I don't think we ever did _that_ in the woods."

He flushed. This was not how he planned for the conversation to turn to. He couldn't joke about this with Katniss, not the girl who he still was desperately in love with. He fumbled the phone, but kept his hold on it. "No... no we didn't."

_Just close your eyes  
>The sun is going down<br>You'll be alright  
>No one can hurt you now<br>Come morning light  
>You and I'll be safe and sound<em>

Katniss fell silent. He bit his lip, unsure of what she was thinking of anymore. He used to be able to read her like the back of his hand, but he couldn't tell anymore. She wasn't the same as the girl he had left. "Gale... do you mind if I... come over... sometime soon? Just... to talk things out with you?"

He couldn't believe the words that came out of his mouth. "Of course you can come over. You're always invited over."

_Just close your eyes  
>You'll be alright<br>Come morning light  
>You and I'll be safe and sound <em>


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note: I don't own the Hunger Games. The song is "Hey Jealousy" by Stay the Night. The lead singer, Nikki Simmons, and I are friends. Stay the Night is broken up, and Nikki is in a new band called Morningside. Ch-ch-check em out, they're pretty fabulous. Also, the black out is to preserve the T rating. If you want a full on smutty, decadent goodness, tell me. I'll have to write it in the dead of the night, but I can do it if you give me enough requests.**

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><p><em>Tell me,<br>Do you think it'd be alright  
>If I could just crash here tonight?<br>You can see I'm in no shape for driving  
>And anyway, I've got no place to go<em>

Gale had hung up ages ago, his heart racing from all the thoughts he had while he was on the phone with Katniss. How badly he had wanted her to be in his arms, to have her lips pressed against his, moaning his name... Gale shook those thoughts away. _She's married_, he reminded himself sternly. He couldn't help himself from pulling on his best clothes and combing his hair in a desperate attempt to make him look better. Not that Gale needed help in the looks department. He was fully aware that he was a good looking man and wasn't going to hide that he was attractive.

He heard the knock on his door, the knock that said it was Katniss at his door. He sighed, knowing it had to be Katniss with Peeta. He wasn't sure why he had decided to act like this, knowing that she couldn't ever love him. She was tied too much to Peeta and he could never untie it. He wanted to, but his jealousy towards Peeta angered him. He ran his fingers through his hair as he opened the door to the biggest shock of his life. It was just Katniss, no Peeta. Where was her husband? How was he supposed to keep himself from just pulling her into his arms and kiss her? He bit his lip. "Hey, Catnip."

The old standby, the old nickname that still belong to her even though she hadn't been his Catnip in years. Katniss smiled, brushing her hair back. "I don't suppose there's any hope of ever being just plain old Katniss? Not just Catnip?"

Gale laughed. "No. Never."

_Tell me,  
>Do you think it'd be alright<br>If I could just crash here tonight?  
>You can see I'm in no shape for driving<br>And anyway, I've got no place to go  
>Yet, you know, it might not be that bad<br>If you were the best I ever had  
>If I hadn't blown the whole thing years ago<br>I might not be so alone_

Katniss laughed, that laugh that made Gale's heart pound faster. The girl that he thought he had left behind, the girl that he was more than positive he was over had snaked his heart right back into her hands. "So, what have you got for me? I came all this way, so it's only polite that you feed me."

Gale smiled, certain that it was the same Katniss from all those years ago in front of him. It was clear without saying a word which topics were off limits: the war, Prim, the Games, and Peeta. He knew what to avoid without even asking her. Of course, not talking about any of those things was not good, he knew. He knew they had to discuss what had damaged their relationship, but he was keen to avoid them. She was too. "Of course. It's no squirrel meat, but it'll do."

Katniss laughed again, her eyes connecting with Gale's. She couldn't allow herself to feel these things, couldn't allow herself to fall for Gale all over again. However, there she was, looking into Gale's eyes, feeling like she wanted him again. But no, she had toyed with his feelings too much and she can't let him take control of her feelings. However as she spotted the lamb stew, she was shocked. She never told Gale that the lamb stew was her favorite dish at the Capitol. She said, quite breathlessly, "I never told you that the lamb stew was my favorite."

Gale's eyebrows raised in surprise. "I didn't know that... I just thought you'd like it."

_Tomorrow we can drive around this town  
>And let the cops chase us around<br>The past is gone,  
>Then something might be found to take it's place<br>Hey jealousy, hey jealous, hey jealousy, hey jealousy _

Katniss couldn't help herself from the minute that he showed her the lamb stew he made for them. She threw her arms around his neck, and a very much shocked Gale was going to put his arms around her... but he held himself back. _She's married_, he reminded himself. He could resist for much longer, however. His arms wrapped around her tightly, his lips pressing against her forehead. Her eyes looked into his, and he couldn't help but want her. "You're the first person I didn't have to tell that to. That you just knew."

His heart was racing. She's married entered his head again, but for some reason, he couldn't care less anymore. He couldn't resist her for a second longer. He pressed his lips to hers, desperate for a kiss. With a jolt, he realized she was kissing him back. He couldn't help but realize it was wrong, she was married and he wasn't her husband... but he found that he really, honestly didn't care. He was the one to pull away, and he whispered, "We really shouldn't have don that..."

She flushed, nodding. "We shouldn't have... but... you wouldn't mind if I stayed the night?"

_You can trust me not to drink  
>And not to sleep around<br>If you don't expect too much from me,  
>You might not be let down<br>Someone really wants to be with you  
>And I feel like I matter too<br>If I hadn't blown the whole thing years ago,  
>I might be here with you<em>

Gale knew it was wrong, wrong to want her to stay the night, knowing what could go on. However, he couldn't help it. She asked to stay with him, asked to be in his house... and he nodded. He knew it was wrong, he knew that he was ruining his chances all over again. "Please... I don't exactly have a spare bedroom, but... um... you can stay in my room and I'll take the couch."

He was trying to be gentlemanly, trying desperately to avoid any chance of destroying her relationship with Peeta. Katniss shook her head, her fingers gripping tightly on his shirt. "I was thinking... we share your room."

He flushed, and the next thing he had known, he had her in his arms, kissing her desperately as he carried her to his room. Somewhere along the way, their clothes landed on the floor, and the door closed to a soft moan.

_Tomorrow we can drive around this town,  
>And let the cops chase us around<br>The past is gone,  
>Then something that might take it's place<br>Tomorrow we can drive around this town  
>And let the cops chase us around<br>The past is gone,  
>Then something that make take it's place<br>Hey jealousy, hey jealousy, hey jealousy, hey jealousy_

The next morning, Gale awoke feeling shameful for what he had done with Katniss. His arms were wrapped around Katniss, a very much naked Katniss. His heart raced faster, and he could feel the unfortunate... ahem, morning problem that he faced daily. He flushed, and he knew he had to wake her up. "Catnip..."

Katniss awoke, flushing. Her phone rang out, and she looked at the phone. She bit her lip, and kissed Gale lightly, muttering, "Shit."

_Tell me, _  
><em>Do you think it'd be alright<em>  
><em>If I could only stay the night?<em>  
><em>You can see I'm in no shape for driving, <em>  
><em>And anyway, I've got no place to go<em>  
><em>And yet, you know, <em>  
><em>It might not be that bad, <em>  
><em>You were the best I ever had<em>  
><em>If I hadn't blown the whole thing years ago, <em>  
><em>I might be here with you<em>


End file.
